Batman vs Superman

Son of Krypton vs Bat of Gotham (Spoilers:Yes)

 Well, It's done. I've seen it. Batman vs Superman... It's a mixed bowl to be honest. That's actually the best way i can describe it. Imagine a bowl filled with random ingredients that just leave you confused.

 I really wanted to love this movie. Despite all the criticism. I have a soft spot for my boys in black and blue. And on some notes, the movie delivered things well. But it kept changing it's tone which made it so messy.

 The beginning kind of hard to take in. It felt like everyone just wanted to remind the audience that Man of Steel happened and all the random destruction from the previous movie was supposed to be relevant.

 Quick side note: I'm not that big on the Man of Steel movie. It was also hard to follow with all the smashing and punching. However, I did like how Micheal Shannon looked as Zod. He actually looked intimidating unlike another i could mention, Lex, ehem but more on that later.

 Also they shot Jimmy Olsen. Yeah. I saw the credits. He was Jimmy Olsen. Still early in and I feel like this is how they want to treat the source material. A bullet to face... off-screen. I mean Jimmy Olsen being played by a black guy in the Supergirl TV series was something new to me but at least he was still a character not just a random reminder that cameras can get you shot.

 Next, there's the Daily Planet. They pound it in clear that newspapers have it tough. Thank you Perry White. Then why not write a story about Batman? I dunno why he wasn't news worthy. He's the frickin Batman.

 Then we have Lois Lane, whose part in the movie was quite unclear to me. Is she supposed to be the "empowered female" character because she doesn't listen at all to her boss? And always seems to put herself in so much danger? Also why did she try to drown the Kryptonite spear? Just seemed kind of random to me.

 Speaking of random. What the hell is up with the scenes jumping every which way? Also what was the purpose of the 1st Batman dream sequence? Aside from exposing Martha's name? and trying to jump scare the popcorn out of the bucket? Back to the mixed bowl analogy. It's like shoving more and more imposing scene after another. Give the audience time to read into it.

 I'm going to skip past the obvious plot point of this trying to herald in the Justice League and talk about it at the end. So don't worry. I didn't forget that. or that weird dream sequence with the time travel that just popped out of nowhere. Ugh.

 Now I want to put a spotlight on Superman. To a lot of people, including me, Superman is a big deal. There's a reason we geek out over him. Superman represents the good in all of us. He was an outcast. An alien. A being with the ability to destroy everything. A tortured and lonely soul that rose above his darkness and became a beacon of hope. His greatest trait wasn't his powers although they are freakin awesome. But he's more than that. Superman cares. He uses his strength to protect those that are weak.His "humanity" is his greatest trait.

 Then why is Superman in this movie so detached at randomly placed moments? It's like he's not even sure why he's saving people. Well except for Lois Lane who has him on scream dial. Even Martha Kent said, "You don't owe them anything." That just rubbed me the wrong way. Big blue learned to love his foster planet because of his foster parents. Then why would she encourage him to not care?

 The joke in the DC universe is that Superman is the boy scout. He's so light heartedly good that it makes Batman feel uneasy. Or maybe it's just me. The movie seems to want to dip Superman in a dark coating when I just believe he's more effective as he usually is: kind and uplifting.

 Now on the opposite corner, there's the Batman. I admit. I was rooting for Bats since The Dark Knight Returns. He's the Goddamn Batman. He's the man who's been dragged into darkness. The man with every excuse to be the bad guy. But no. He grabbed the darkness by the balls and used it to strike fear to those who do evil. That's why people look at the Batman with pride. He took the worst life could throw and spat back in it's face like all of us want to do.

 Batfleck didn't do such a horrible job at being Batman. The writing around him weighed him down though. All it took was hearing his mom's name to change his mind from killing Superman with his spear. His randomly weird dreams. Or his wayward investigation of Lex Luthor. Or that he uses guns... Or that he screams obvious things at people like getting out of a building that's in the middle of a super powered fight. He still acted tough about it too which kind of made it stick out more.

 Before I roast the elephant in the room, I want to point out something I loved which is Jeremy Irons as Alfred Pennyworth. He's just so witty about it.

 Ok ready the barbeque sauce. Lex Luthor come on. Have they ever seen a Superman cartoon? Lex is Superman's archenemy for a reason. And that reason is not stuttering cryptic riddles and sounding like a hamster on cocaine. I didn't like that they used Jesse Eisenburg as Lex Luthor. It doesn't work. Lex is a strong imposing megalomaniac with genius intellect and a dark grudge. Jesse is wobbly and clappy and likes to act as a fight promoter that wants to be Shakespear. His motive sounded insane. His methods were insane. His lines were well you guess it insane. Though when he was threatening Superman he actually sounded pretty badass. But point being, Lex Luthor is not the Joker. He has "schemes". He's a "schemer" as Heath Ledger would put it. Lex Luthor is a brilliant supervillain. Curly scarecrow was all over the place.

 He did however create a real threat to Superman and to the movie. Yep that's right. Doomsday. This meant adding the Death of Superman within the 2nd half of the Dark Knight Returns. Biting off more than it could chew is a fair way to express it. It got too big for it's own good. I love comic book Doomsday. He is a legit threat to the entire planet and he looks absolutely brutal. Not like a Micheal Bay Ninja Turtle that mutated in a different direction. They didn't add his spiked look until he got nuked and not nearly enough spikes. Sigh.

 I did love the fight scenes though. They did drag on waaay too long. But I can never have enough of super people beating on a monster. This was probably one thing that didn't make me hate the movie completely. 

 Also Wonder Woman did a good job of joining the fight. I'm not really sure because we've all been waiting for Princess Diana of Themyscira to hop on the big screen. I don't want that to go away. 

 It's been said before the main point of this movie is to act as an opening for the Justice League. I agree. I would love to see the Justice League on screen. But please, do not skimp on the basics. Yes the painfully obvious foreshadowing drove in the point. Flash is gonna be awesome along with AquaDrogo and Cyborg.

 Also where the hell are Green Lantern and Shazam? I can accept Ryan Reynolds back in the Hal Jordan suit. He did a nice job of being Deadpool. Although a new face wouldn't be such a bad idea. We all heard Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is playing Black Adam but whose gonna be Shazam? or Billy Batson?

 Final thoughts on this. It's an ok movie. I still wound up liking it. Mostly because I'm a huge DC fan. It's just weighed down on how shallow it acts. It's messy and unmotivated. It's like a really good comic book that got printed wrong. But since I want to see the Justice League I will give it a fair chance.

 These characters are timeless because they have depth. They're right there in the books and cartoons. That is what we are looking for. It's not just seeing Batman punch Superman in a robot suit or the Trinity beating down on Doomsday. We've invested in these characters because of who they are not just what they can do. So please treat that with respect. They're our heroes and we will not stand idly by and watch them be bastardized...